Korean Friendship Bell, San Pedro. Photo by Andrew Zappin
Tacos, Tequila, and Spider Bites.
Cezar & Justin Tour Diary 2019.
I first met Cezar Mora about ten years ago in Long Beach, California. We had a mutual Canadian friend, Vancouver artist and musician Justin Gradin. This creative Canuck introduced us. Justin Gradin would eat a California Burrito (carne asada with french fries) from Burrito King in Echo Park daily, but that’s beside the point.
Burrito King, Echo Park.
Cezar told me that we could make a lot of money playing low rider car shows as a Beach Boys cover band singing in Spanish. We called ourselves Los Long Beach Boys and attempted our first song “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” in Spanish. The translation was difficult, the rhymes were difficult, we were both frustrated. After a couple sessions of attempting to kick off Los Long Beach Boys, we scrapped the idea and formed a band that played original songs instead. We called ourselves LA Drugz because our drummer James Carman said that the best music is like a drug.
LA Drugz outside of Harold’s Place, San Pedro. Photo by Emilio Venegas, Jr.
There was already a band called LA Drugs from Boston, so we called our selves LA Drugz with a Z. It was partially a tribute to The Plugz, and also LA Guns. LA Drugz recorded some fantastic material, released a 12″ EP and a digital EP and toured the west coast of America, but we were ultimately short lived. We reformed to tour from Texas to San Francisco with England’s Fat White Family, and that tour ended with our tour van being broken into, all of Fat White’s equipment, suitcases, and guitars stolen, and those guys basically left in windy freezing cold San Francisco all wearing their only item of clothing which were matching LA Drugz T-shirts.
Fat White Family on the first date of their UK tour, the only clothing not stolen out of their suitcases in SF being their matching LA Drugz T-shirts. Photo by Polly Braithwaite.
When I was a teenager, my Dad had a friend from Morro Bay, California named Fran. He was belligerent and a drunk and he would frequently get into fistfights with surfers on the beach. He would only date black women, citing his preference for their shapely asses. Fran loved blues and country music and when I told him I liked it too, he would tape me this radio show from one of his local stations. The cassette tapes that would arrive weekly in the mail would have stuff on them like Lightnin’ Hopkins, Muddy Waters, Howlin Wolf, Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, and Lefty Frizzell. To me, blues and country were just as honest as punk rock. Country music was American rural storytelling, songs about all night drunks, failed marriages, lost jobs, broken hearts. It was a truly adult form of music as opposed to a teenage type of music like rock and roll or punk rock. I didn’t truly understand it until I was divorced in my early 30s.
I played in touring punk rock bands from 1998 til 2018. In my mind I wanted to play punk rock when I was young and country music when I was old. A few years ago I went to the White Horse in Austin, Texas and saw young guys with long hair and feathers in their hats playing real country music. I thought, “Jesus, if these guys can do it, then I can too.” What am I waiting for? It turned out these long haired guys were Croy and The Boys, Croy being a roommate of my old friend Mark Janchar of Hovercraft Records. Small world.
When I my relationship of 8 years ended in divorce, country music was one of the few things that helped me through it. All of these singers had felt my pain too. They drank to cope just like I did. They made mistakes just like I did. They fucked up and hit rock bottom just like I did. They got back up on their feet just like I did.
In Los Angeles I found a small but thriving country scene at venues like The Echo, Harvard and Stone, and The Escondite. At Cowboy Country in Long Beach I saw a great young pedal steel player named Kevin Milner. I got his contact information. I asked Cezar Mora if he wanted to play in a country band with me. He was one of my only friends I knew who loved both punk rock and traditional country music. We both really dig the Bakersfield sound, Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, and classic stuff like Ernest Tubb, Webb Pierce, Eddie Noack, Willie, Waylon, Loretta, George Jones, you know, the good stuff.
Angela Ramos from San Pedro surf band Bombon agreed to play bass, and Luis Herrera (from Rough Kids, Sonny Vincent, and many more) on drums. We called ourselves The Wayward Chapel, released a live album, and played 3 shows. Our debut on 4th of July we rode in on the back of my neighbor Francisco’s flatbed tow truck. It was truly epic. Then Angela had a baby, Cezar started a plumbing business called Camco Rooter, and I started freelance ASL Interpreting full time. We stopped playing.
The Wayward Chapel’s First show on top of my neighbor Francisco “Tow Life”s flatbed tow truck. 4th of July 2016
My little brother Jamie recently moved to Dallas, Texas and there was a loose plan for my family to visit him there for Christmas. I thought about going on tour solo, playing some acoustic shows on the way to help pay for gas. My second thought was to recruit Cezar Mora on 2nd guitar, harmonies, and some lead vocals of his own and we could do a stripped down country set of originals and covers. To my surprise. Lord Cezar Mora agreed to join me on this Los Angeles to Dallas journey. In the end I had a lot of trouble syncing up dates with Dallas, Austin, San Antonio, and Marfa venues, so the tour was booked as far as Tucson, Arizona, and Cezar would fly back from there. I’d drive the remaining 952 miles myself. This is our tale.
Friday Dec. 13th Los Angeles, CA @ Fais Do Do
A few hours before our LA show our promoter Ryan Platero got in touch to tell us that Fais Do Do had cancelled the show because they had no PA System. He scrambled and was able to move the show to the Grand Star Jazz Club in Chinatown. The other bands and DJs scrambled and posted on social media, texting people, frantically spreading the word about the last minute change of location.
Cezar and I donned our hats and boots and arrived a little early, schlepping our stuff up the flight of stairs. Little did we know, the downstairs bar at the Grand Star had a techno party downstairs. The blaring techno was drowning out the opening act Blanca, but as she was versatile, she was able to stomp her feet and adjust the tempo of her songs so that it matched the tempo of the throbbing kickdrum below. Cezar and I were up next and it was the first show we had ever played as a two piece. The techno totally drowned us out and I felt like I had to scream over it. Some folks in the crowd started talking and between the techno and their talking, it was all I could hear. I couldn’t hear myself, couldn’t hear my guitar amp, couldn’t hear Cezar, couldn’t hear our vocals. It was extremely difficult to get through. We played a cover of “Dead Flowers” and that’s when I got into my punk rock mindset.
My inner voice started chiding me,
“Man, what if this is the last show you ever play? How do you wanna go out?
You gonna give up?”
Luckily Ryan our promoter told us we only had time for a couple left. Ending that set was like ending torture trying to play over the techno downstairs.
Before we ended our set I said, “I don’t condone violence, but in this case I will make an exception. Will someone please go downstairs and shoot the DJ multiple times?”
I don’t condone violence but I did wish death on whoever was torturing our existence with bad house music. It was Friday The 13th after all. Did we pass the test? Who knows. We survived relatively unscathed. People seemed to love our Cactus t-shirts designed by Matthew “Snake” Davisand screen printed by Kid Kevin Carle at Calimucho Screenprinting and we sold a few.
Saturday Dec 14th Long Beach, CA @ 4th Street Vine
Our friend Jim Ritson owns 4th Street Vine in Long Beach and a couple other bars too. God bless him. Our good friend Paul Gonzalez had recently had his car stolen in front of the place while he was working. His records, turntables, and DJ Mixer was inside his car. It was devastating for him as DJing is his 2nd job and one of his loves. Long Beach rallied and raised a few thousand bucks for him on GoFundMe. God Bless Paul.
Cezar and Paul were drinking across the street at The Social. Cezar had his black Stetson Revenger on. He looked killer.
We had a couple drinks and then headed over to 4th Street Vine as we were on first. People seemed to really listen to our tunes. It was nice to not have to try and play over throbbing techno. Our set felt good, pure, the way the songs were meant to be heard.
Sunday Dec 15th Tijuana, BC @ Casa De Vilma
I picked up Lord Cezar at 10am at his pad in San Pedro and he wasn’t there. He had parked his van at his Aunt’s place in North Long Beach (down the street from Snoop Dogg’s parents’ house). So far the communication on this two man tour was off to an excellent start.
Made the 20 minute detour to North Long Beach, found Lord Cezar and his van the Green Goblin. Made the tetris pack into the back seat of my 2013 Honda Civic and we were off!
The drive to Tijuana was relatively painless. That stretch of 5 freeway near the San Onofre power plant and the view of the great Pacific Ocean is so beautiful. We stopped in San Isidro, the last US stop before Mexico to buy Mexican Car Insurance, the one thing that I forgot to do. Typically your US car insurance provider won’t cover you for accidents down in Mexico. We had our guitars and combo amps with us and I asked my insurance people about theft. Geico told me that I had to buy renter’s insurance to be covered for theft, but everything in both my apartment and my car would be covered. I thought it was a good deal, and remembering our good friend Paul in Long Beach and his recent theft of all of his DJ Gear out of his car, I went ahead and bit the bullet, buying renter’s insurance. Now that our car and gear were fully insured, we said fuck it and crossed into Mexico!
Our friends Marco and Gabriela’s pad is over in Playas Tijuana, and to get there, you cross the border and make a hard right which leads you through this windy, hilly freeway which parallels the massive border fence to the right. This fence is rusty corrugated steel and is about the height of 20 Honda Civics. In between the initial Mexican border fence is the death strip, and then the US border fence. You can see US Border trucks driving back and forth just on the US side of the fence. The huge fence leads all the way into the Mexican side of the Pacific Ocean which ends up right at Playas Tijuana.
In Playas the fence has these murals painted onto it. They’ve made it into a kind of park. I like it that they’ve done that. Turned this ugly steel fence into something a bit more pleasant. From Playas Tijuana you can literally see the skyline of San Diego in the distance. The border is such a farce, man. It’s literally for show. People who cross the border daily have family on both sides. It’s people’s aunts, uncles, grandparents, neices, nephews who are crossing to visit and stay with family on the other side. Gabriela, who lives with Marco in Playas Tijuana is studying to be a Veterinary Technician. She crosses almost daily to study in San Diego. Marco is studying to be an educational administrator and nearly has his Master’s Degree from one of the many excellent universities in Tijuana.
Our host Marco’s face after I convince him to try a little taste of Gran Centenario Plata
We found our host’s house and I cut my finger open on their sliding gate door. My friend Cezar told me that I was going to get tetanus or lock jaw and have to sing the rest of the tour through my teeth with my jaw stuck shut. Nice guy, isn’t he?
We met the doggie, Vilma who their house is named after. Marco was preparing a carne asada BBQ in their back yard. Playas Tijuana is mellow and pleasant and a nice breeze blows off the ocean. It was time for Cezar and I to get in our hats and boots before people started arriving the party. But first things first, we bought a bottle of Tequila Gran Centenario, Plata from the corner store nearby and enjoyed a tragito with our hosts.
Damian Fry aka Profeta de Ajo (“Prophet of Garlic”) opened up the show with some beautiful tunes from South America. He had an assortment of different instruments and he played and sang beautifully.
Damian Fry aka Profeta de Ajo. Photo by @isabeology (IG)
Up next were Los Rattlesnakes, Tijuana punk scene veterans who recently started an acoustic side project. The dudes later told me that they had called the band Los Rattlesnakes because of the theme of rattlesnakes in the Ritchie Valens biopic film “La Bamba”, which is also a favorite of ours. My old friend Sulli and I got Ritchie Valens tattoos on a trip to TJ awhile back and I told them the story about it. They were stoked.
Los Rattlesnakes
Your pals Cezar and Justin were up next, and the room full of TJ punk rockers surprisingly dug our set of traditional country western music.
Our set was followed by a lively afterparty and we managed this group shot before things got too rowdy! Gracias a Marco y Gabriela and all of our new friends! Saludos Amiguitos!!
Monday Dec. 16th El Centro, CA @ Strangers Bar
Our poor host Marco had to jet off to work at 6am for a 7am start at the school he’s working in. I loaded the Honda Civic as Cezar had disappeared off somewhere. Poor Cezar slept on the couch with no blankets. Someone finally draped some blankets over him. I had the guest room where their roommate had just moved out and repainted the room. At first I was alright, but halfway through the night the paint fumes got kinda overwhelming and I opened the window and let some cool Playas De Tijuana aire in.
First things first, breakfast. I remembered a place where Gabi and Marco had taken Irwing and myself on an earlier visit. We found the place.
El Heisenbergo aka Lord Cezar has his breakfast
After much deliberation I ordered the crab omelette. Cezar ordered chilaquiles with machaca. I had a freshly squeezed orange juice that was cold and mildly sweet. Goddamn, it may have been the best orange juice I ever had. The Crab Omelette was absolutely fantastic. They had this dangerously picoso salsa roja, and I put too much on my little crab omelette tacos I made with my side of frijoles. I was worried I might pay the price later. It wouldn’t be until Phoenix, but oh a price I would pay.
Our hosts in TJ mentioned that the drive to Mexicali might be dangerous. My personal experience driving in Mexico is to take the toll roads and drive during the daytime. That was the advice given to Clorox Girls during our Mexican tour in 2006, and this advice has served me well. Lord Cezar had some misgivings, but we decided “fuck it.”
We took the toll road past Tijuana, past Tecate, and into the rolling rocky hills before Mexicali. The drive was beautiful. I caught some shots of El Heisenbergo in his natural habitat.
Here’s what I wrote when I initially posted the photos.
Cezar and Justin made a succesful camino TJ a Mexicali y estamos en El Centro. The rock formations on the way to Mexicali were amazing. My shots of El Heisenbergo y las pinches piedras are here. The border is just for show, Los Mexicanos are our brothers and sisters. California was Native American, Spain, Mexico, THEN the US. We share history, food, culture, music, literature, art. It was our pleasure to share our music with our hermanos en Baja California. El Centro tonight with The Mellow Dicks from Mexicali at Strangers Bar. If you live here, come!
After a gorgeous drive and less than $6 in tolls, we finally hit Mexicali where we enjoyed some tacos. There’s something special about flour tortillas in the desert: stretchy, buttery, sanguine. I don’t think I’ll ever think of flour tortillas in the same way again. Viva Tortillas De Harina!
Our friend Ernie Quintero roadied for Clorox Girls during our Mexican tour in 2006 and he shot and edited this video.
Ernie is now a father and owns 2 businesses in El Centro, one being Strangers Bar. He told us that a Monday would be perfect, and said he’d donate all of his tips to us. What a good dude.
Ernesto had some pizza from his partner business Strangers West, and they put charcoal in the pizza dough making it dark and chewy. Definitely interesting, definitely good!
Charcoal pizza crust from Strangers West, El Centro.
Mellowdicks from Mexicali were a little nervous to play acoustic as this was their first attempt at doing so. They pulled it off!
Mexicali was where that stretch of the railroad came to an end, so there’s loads of Chinese Restaurants with Mexican ingredients. There’s also loads of lovely frauliens who are half Chinese half Mexican. A few beautiful frauliens were surprisingly at the bar in El Centro on a Monday night. As our set ended many of them left as we imagined they had work in the morning on Tuesday. It also could have been because where we were playing blocked the bathroom. Ernesto booked us a cheap hotel in El Centro where we were able to rest our heads after enjoying some pizza and beer at Strangers. Gracias, Ernie!
Tuesday Dec. 17th Tempe, AZ @ Yucca Tap Room
In the morning in our cheap hotel room, Cezar realized he had been attacked by spiders in the night. He had these insane spider bites all up his left and right arm. I was spared from the spider attack. Upon closer inspection we confirmed that they weren’t fleas, not bed bugs, not mosquitoes, definitely spider bites. Holy shit. Poor guy was itching and scratching until we finally got him some cortizone in Tempe.
In the morning in El Centro, we had to hit a drugstore for a stomach malady I had. Old men on tour. (Don’t know why we didn’t buy cortizone here?) Cezar made me a bet that they wouldn’t have a Nerf football in the drug store. I found a fucking football in there but Cezar claimed it wasn’t Nerf brand, so he didn’t have to pay up. Classic Cezar.
As we got into western Arizona, we waxed poetic on the marvels of the Saguaro Cactus. It never fails. It takes them hundreds of years to grow and they live forever. God bless the Saguaro Cactus.
Tuesday in Tempe was pretty quiet other than me dying a slow death in the Yucca Tap Room men’s room.
After my death, I had to get in the right head space to play – which required tequila and a couple beers. Sound was fantastic and it was amazing to hear ourselves through monitors. It may have been the first venue with actual working stage monitors. Thank Allah for stage monitors!
Our pal and promoter Harry Jerkface opened the show with his own tunes.
Michele Lane played next and unfortunately didn’t snap any photos. Her best tune was her ballad “I love you, Bob Cantu.” Was good to see Bob there, our old pal from Redwood Bar in Downtown LA.
After our set which felt great, Cezar and I saw two girls making eyes at us and whispering in each other’s ears, but I talked too long to the sound man about his funk band and they left. Yes, I blew it. And no, Cezar would not let me forget about it.
We burned a little midnight oil with Bob, Michele, Harry and DeMonica. DeMonica told us a bit about growing up White Mountain Apache and we tried learning some Apache phrases .
Cezar’s arms were looking pretty bad from the spider bites and DeMonica found some cortizone for him. She also suggested slicing open the bites with a razorblade and letting the poison drain out. We vetoed this idea.
In the morning Harry made us one of his Hawaiian classics, Spam and Eggs. I never had spam before, but it was kind of like a sausage.
Harry’s Spam and eggs were even more beautiful than this photo as he had a side of spinach and mushrooms. Great stuff.
I had to bite back the hair of the dog that bit me. I bit hard. This is called burning the midday oil.
Wed. Dec 18th Tucson, AZ @ Sky Bar
The drive from Tempe to Tucson was relatively painless at about 2 hours. We hit up Tacos Apson in Tucson which was just fantastic.
Again, it’s those desert tortillas de harina that are just absolutely wonderful. We would have a couple of sonora dogs later on. For those of you who don’t know about the Sonoran Hot Dog that originated in Hermosillo, Sonora, they typically have pinto beans, tomatoes, green salsa, jalapeño, mustard, mayonnaise, avocado and cotija cheese. Want one yet?
Down at Sky Bar we found out that it was open mic night and there were about a million dudes with acoustic guitars waiting to play. Cezar spotted a woman with a marionette who was also on deck to play. Cezar then spouted forth the best quote of tour:
“Fuck, now we have to play with a fuckin’ puppet show? What the fuck, man?”
Our buddy Issac Reyes from Lenguas Largas showed up with Matty from The Resonars (“Gone Is The Road” might be the best song of 2019) and our opening band The Gem Show. Apparently our show was separate from the open mic, thankfully. We had to fortify ourselves with some Tito’s and soda water in our tour van, the 2013 Honda Civic.
It was down to the 30s in Tucson, folks told us it was the coldest day of the year. We met a girl from Ireland who had one of those Gaelic names that are very difficult for us doltish Americans to remember or pronounce and her friend, Jenny Calento, who had black hair with bangs and a lovely smile. Jesus, this black haired bang thing really does me in.
We played our set followed by The Gem Show who were loud and excellent.
Sky Bar paid us very fairly and Gem Show even kindly donated their pay to us. God bless you guys. Ben Asher from legendary Bainbridge Island punk group The Captives showed up, it had been at least 20 years since I’d seen him. We didn’t get to chat too much. Sorry about that, Ben.
Afterwards we went to another bar with a couple of Lenguas Largas, Gaelic fraulien, and Jenny Calento. They were playing modernish country pop which Lenguas and Gaelic did not enjoy. Gaelic fraulien was friends with the bartender and asked me what traditional country music she should try to turn her onto. I told her to go with the classics like Hank Williams. I also noticed some Dwight Yoakam in her playlist so told her to keep it up with the Dwight Yoakam, and noted that some of Dwight’s favorite singers were Buck Owens, Merle Haggard, and George Jones. Thought that was a good introduction to more traditional country music and the Bakersfield sound!
It was a birthday party at this little bar in Tucson and “Dirty Old Town” by the Pogues came on. The whole bar sang it. What a fitting end to tour.
Me and Cezar’s tour playlist top 2 hits were probably “Beer Drinkin’ Blues” by Eddie Noack and “A Million Miles From Nowhere” by Dwight Yoakam.
Give unto God what is God’s and give unto Lord Cezar what is Cezar’s.
After burning some serious midnight oil with Matty Resonar and him introducing us to the excellent Mike Judge animated series “Tales From The Tour Bus” (absolutely hilarious, you gotta watch it), I dropped Cezar at the Tucson airport and drove 526 miles to Pecos, Texas. The next day drove 421 miles to Irving, Texas to my little brother’s place. Had a family Christmas without much fighting or controversy which was a success!
Then drove 354 miles to Amarillo, Texas, and the next day 608 miles to Flagstaff. A couple of days later did 256 miles Flagstaff to Tucson. Then a couple of days later 485 miles from Tucson to Los Angeles. Those are some serious miles!
In Flagstaff I hit a snowstorm but was able to visit with some old friends Alex and Oakley and their 2 dogs. Check the snow out!
My wildest night was in Amarillo, but I won’t bore you with it here! Thanks for reading!
Freehand sketch by Sandra Vérine drawing LIVE at Montpellier Subsonic music festival, Montpellier, France
Hello Friends,
Two of my musical groups Suspect Parts and Maniac just careened across continental Europe for a month, playing about 30 shows in Germany, Switzerland, France and Spain. I did double duty and played 2 sets a night. Exhaustion and sensory overload only scratch the surface of how I’m feeling, but I’d like to share some memories before they fade away.
Suspect Parts live at Cassiopea, Berlin. Photo by Chris Almeida
Being back in the US is a trip. After coming off tour, you feel a little bit of PTSD. You get used to living like a dog, sleeping on the floor, eating and drinking and pissing and shitting whenever and wherever you can. You’re existing in a state of perpetual motion, your only goal to get to the next town and play a 45 minute set. It involves driving, waiting around, carrying amps and drums and soundchecks and vegetarian dinners and drinking out of boredom and out of trying to get in balance with a steady stream of caffeine and booze because you know you won’t get any sleep. And maybe you’ll sleep on a filthy cot or on a bare mattress in a mold filled punk squat filled with graffiti and sharpie’d penises crudely drawn by other drunk punk bands who stayed there before you. You’re horny but you don’t jerk off in the shower out of respect for your band mate who is showering after you. You don’t have a towel so you use a dirty t-shirt instead. You sweat so much that your face begins to itch and your eyelids feel like scales on a reptile. But for some reason it’s an addiction and when you’re not doing it your skin crawls and you feel restless and you begin to plan the next tour. You’ll probably lose money but it doesn’t matter because when you’re up there playing that 45 minute set and it really works and you’re playing together like a well oiled machine, everything is out the window because what you’re doing is pure bliss. And the people you meet will be your friends for life. And the places you visit will continue to rub off on you and you will become a different person and you forget what you are doing and then it is over.
So here I am, in godforsaken Los Angeles, two days back at work, skin beginning to crawl, ready to do it all over again.
Justin Maurer, Little Armenia, Los Angeles 09/29/15
Before tour MANIAC shot this promo vid in the Los Angeles River where many a chase scene was filmed, from Repo Man to Grease to Terminator. The vid was shot by Ardavon Fatehi and edited by Andrew Zappin. It co-stars Lord Cezar Mora as the thief.
Revisiting our multimedia tour journal we had a lot of time sitting around, either in a van or in a pitch black dank German venue. We launched a friendly rivalry with our old friends Red Dons who were also on a European tour. We dubbed it “The Down With Dons Movement.”
Our lead guitarist in Maniac Andrew Zappin is a skilled filmmaker and photographer. “Captain” Zappin utilized the basic iMovie app on his iPhone to create a series of #downwithdons communiques as well as a travel webseries dubbed “Guten Morgen Deutschland” starring James “Sulli” Sullivan and yours truly. Captain Zappin transformed into our “Minister of War” and began our series of attaques on The Dons.
SUSPECT PARTS & MANIAC EURO TOUR JOURNAL 2015
Pre-Tour Journal:
Justin: We got in a few days early to rehearse. We practiced on a street called Pfarstrasse and it was, well, a little Pfar from where we were staying. My first couple of meals were so flavorful, I mean I could TASTE the butter, eggs, cheese, bread, falafel, tomatoes, etc. Coming from the land of Monsanto and excessive preservatives, whenever I go to Europe I immediately notice the food is more healthy with less chemicals. Berlin is great. Graffiti art everywhere, people riding their bikes, excellent falafel, young people walking around. The street vagabond dudes all wear camouflage pants, some of them shirtless, always drinking Sternberg beer. Suspect Parts did a photo shoot with Christina, Sulli’s wife.
Suspect Parts in Berlin. (Photo by Chris Almeida)
We drank some Mexicaners at The Franken in Kreuzberg. Classic stuff. Suspects were staying at Mutti’s (Mother’s) band flat. I don’t think there is an equivalent in the US. You have a booker who books shows, has an apartment for touring bands to stay in, has a warehouse full of gear to rent bands, and just a well-organized, well thought out setup. Unfortunately someone from MANIAC hired another booking agent to do our tour but that’s another story!
28.08.15 GER-Berlin, Cassiopeia
Justin: The venue was next to this skate park and climbing wall. Ice Cube was at the skate park in the back a few days beforehand for the NWA “Straight Outta Compton” movie. It was very civilized behind the venue with a series of coffee shops and bars and people leisurely enjoying coffee and beer in the sunshine. The show went well, kicked em in the head.
Maniac in Berlin (Photo by Chris Almeida)
29.08.15 GER-Hamburg, Get Lost Festival(Suspect Parts during the day // Maniac at night)
Hamburg is a port town full of surly old fishermen types and well, the world-famous red light district, theReeperbahn. It’s in the district of St. Pauli who is the unofficial patron saint of Hamburg. The urban legend goes that Saint Pauli was a pirate who was captured by authorities. He was to be beheaded. He made a deal with them saying if once his head was cut off he was able to run across a line, his men were to be freed. The legend goes that the headless man made it across the line and his pirates were set free. He is the official mascot for the St. Pauli football team.
Some members of MANIAC were very excited to be near the red light district and began regaling other members in the van on past visits to the Reeperbahn. As members of MANIAC had heard these stories many times, they were mostly met with rolling of the eyes. When we rolled into town we saw our compatriots in RED DONS and we hugged and kissed them (and began to plant the seeds of the Down With Dons movement that would later prosper and flourish)
In Hamburg, the scene bosses are mostly Schwabish (that being, coming from the South Western part of Germany near Stuttgart). They are some of my favorite people in the world. They love good music, don’t give a fuck about anything and are real sweethearts. It was good to see these people again. Suspects played a day show in the back patio of this bar and there were people from around the world there.
The night-time show was nutso, in this two floor bar, jam packed full of people. MANIAC played upstairs and downstairs was the mighty DEAN DIRG, German garage punk superstars.
They were fantastic, people stage diving, cigarette smoke everywhere, people doing speed in the dressing room while drinking out of a giant bottle of Jagermeister. Real fun that was had by all. Apparently, whoever was running the MANIAC merch booth was asking every single person who came up to the merch table for drugs. Real Classy.
30.08.15 TBA
31.08.15 TBA
Because of our fantastic booking agent, we had 2 days off after Hamburg. We decided to go back to Berlin and try and record a split 7″ at our friends’ studio on the outskirts of Berlin. The recording was mostly a wash but we did get to go swimming in a lake that was an East German vacation hotspot. There were naked old men, naked women, geese, children and more. Suspect Parts German bassist Andru told us aboutFreikörperkultur or FKK, the “Free Body Culture” movement which was the world’s first nudist movement which began in Germany in the late 1800s.Andru also taught us the word for Fat German, “Dicker Deutscher.”
Our East Berlin Lake Photo by Andrew Zappin
01.09.15 GER-Dresden, Chemiefabrik
It was raining in Dresden so we didn’t get a chance to see the beautiful historic part that they rebuilt after the bombing. We did get a chance however, to roam around Berlin in the morning, see loads of historic sites, the Spree River, bullet holes in the walls where there were serious gunfights during the war, Hitler’s bunker which has been turned into a Jewish Cultural Center, Brandenburg Gate, Soviet monuments and many more. We had a great tour given by Andru and Chris which concluded with a stop at the Ramones Museum. The Ramones museum is fantastic and well worth a visit. As far as the Dresden show goes, not much to report. We made the first “DOWN WITH DONS” video, that was fun.
Justin and Chris signing the wall at the Ramones Museum in Berlin02.09.15
GER-Münster, Gleis 22
Munster is a great college town near the Dutch border in Northwestern Germany. It was a long drive from Dresden to Munster, we had to cross pretty much all of Germany. Gleis 22 is a great venue, I have some fond memories from when Clorox Girls opened for Jay Reatard here in 2007. The booker Markus has been promoting concerts in Munster for about 20 years. He’s one of the nicest most knowledgeable German independent promoters out there. The morning after the show he took us around and showed us the Dome (the local cathedral) above the Dome is a steel cage. There was an uprising against the local Bishop about 500 years ago. The Bishop ordered the men in charge of the uprising killed. Their prostrate bodies were placed in this cage hung high above the cathedral to dissuade any future rebellion. The cage trick worked. We had a nice stroll in Munster, a great cup of coffee and a visit to Green Hell the local punk record store.
We also made the 2nd “Down WIth Dons” video, as always, directed by Minister of War Andrew Zappin.
Posse in front of Gleis 22, Munster, Germany (Photo by Justin Maurer)
03.09.15 GER-Kassel, Goldgrube
This perhaps was the most interesting night yet. The show was on a Thursday night but felt like a Monday night. Pretty uneventful. However we made not 1 but 3 Down With Dons videos after they took us to the “Best Bar in Kassel if not all of Germany.” At the bar we were given an open bar tab. After the first round of Mexicaners was poured, a local fell off of a barstool and shit himself. Captain Zappin helped the man up and this man’s excrement got onto Zappin’s shoe. The smell was so overwhelming that we couldn’t drink our drinks and had to leave to get some fresh air. We tried to get the bar staff to call the man an ambulance but they instead were arguing with us about us staying and not leaving. We told them we’d like to go to our sleeping spot, but they wouldn’t give us the address. They instead continued to argue with us about not leaving. Finally we convinced one of them to come with us and show us the way to the place where we were staying. I observed, “If that was the best bar in Kassel, imagine the worst bar in Kassel!”
The sleeping place seemed like it was an art student’s apartment and had themed rooms. James, Sulli and I were in the Jesus themed room. There was a crucifix across the ceiling. Elmo or another Muppet character was crucified to another cross in the corner of the room. Creepy turn of the century German portraits of Christ were across the room. An organ was in another corner and I composed the “Down With Dons” theme song.
There was also a hunting themed room where our Minister Of War Andrew Zappin starred in his first appearance in the Down WIth Dons Multimedia campaign:
04.09.15 GER-Düsseldorf, Tube
Well, in Cologne they drink Kolsch, in Dusseldorf they drink Alt. It’s a battle that has existed for centuries. Not caring for this battle, the meat eaters among us ate some meat food instead.
Tale of two schnitzels. One is Weiner Art and one is Jager art. A Dusseldorf Alt stands proudly in its glass.
In Dusseldorf we met Vom, drummer in Die Toten Hosen and The Boys.
Dance party at Vom’s! (Photo by CB Mangler)
A super nice guy, he invited a bunch of us back to his house. Here’s a portrait of the man by Andrew Zappin.
Vom Ritchie of Die Toten Hosen and The Boys in his place with his moose “Frank.” (Photo by Andrew Zappin)
Red Dons were in Finland and paid us these two tributes including this bizarre visit with Santa Claus
In Dusseldorf, our booking agent truly showed his prowess when in his hometown he could not convince the bar owner to pay up the previously agreed upon guarantee on paper. Luckily, we were headed to France and Spain which are out of the jurisdiction of he who will not be named’s territory. But first, 6 more German dates!
05.09.15 GER-Trier, Lucky’s Luke
Trier is next to a river and in the middle of wine country. At the show there were people but none of them knew who we are. Suspect Parts sung “Kumbayah” as the closer.
Zache from Maniac went to a “jack shack” where he purchased a thong earlier in the day and wore this thong as the closer for Maniac.
The bar stayed open until at least 7 in the morning and gave us free drinks all night. It was a pretty packed dance party. They played real god awful music and so most of us left to go to bed upstairs in the band flat. Someone brought a psycho girl upstairs who called herself “Nadine The Unbreakable.” She said she was an anarchist and was trying to beat everyone up. She actually punched me in the face at least twice. Some others got it even worse.
06.09.15 – Day off
Our skilled booking agent again failed to fill a day for us, so luckily we were able to stay in Trier in the same band flat. The place was pretty disgusting but it was free and it made a perfect setting for our Magnum Opus of all Down With Dons Videos. This was Director Andrew Zappin’s Citizen Kane.
Also around this time some Down With Dons copycat videos started making their way around the globe, like this one, starring Kenton McDonald in Portland, Oregon
We also had a nice time strolling around the old part of Trier, really gorgeous architecture, a cathedral, Roman walls, ruins of bath houses and more. We began our travel show “Guten Morgen Deutschland” here in Trier, sponsored by Lowenbrau, “Das Bier Fur Trier!”
On the way out of Trier, we drove through the tiny country of Luxembourg, where we shot another episode of “Guten Morgen Deutschland”
07.09.15 GER-Aachen, AZ @ Some Irish Pub
Ooh, this was a brutal one. Maybe the only good part was staying with our friend from the Komplications. He had Nazi knives and cool stuff at his place (Disclaimer, none of us are Nazis obviously). He let us raid his warehouse thrift shop in the morning. Super super super nice dude.
Here he is, singing in the Komplications. If you like The Screamers, you will dig Komplications. Keys, drums, vocals.
Also, we found a Red Dons fan outside the Irish Pub and shot the first “Up With Dons” video:
08.09.15 GER-Köln, Sonic Ballroom
Our old friend Roman is the booker at Sonic Ballroom. Played here many times, a classic Deutsche venue.
We shot another episode of our travel show “Guten Morgen Deutschland” here at the world famous Dome in Cologne:
Thanks to Frau Mony for shooting these vids:
09.09.15 GER-Karlsruhe, Alte Hackerei
On our way to Karlsruhe we shot this episode of “Guten Morgen Deutschland”
Karlsruhe isBadishwhich is right next toSchwabischturf in SouthWestern Deutschland. One of the local specialties isspaetzle. My Schwabisch friends who now reside in Hamburg are always arguing about who cooks the best spaetzle among them. It’s good stuff. The one we had was near the small red light district of Karlsruhe and was sorta like a glorified mac and cheese, not the deliciousness I remembered. Anyhoo, when in Badish or Scwabisch turf, be sure to try the spaetzle. We got kinda unlucky in our spot. The beer was good though.
Alte Hackerei literally means “old hackery,” it used to be a slaughterhouse and now is a venue for punk and alternative music. The bar and back area were very nice and the fooseball table quite good. We played with Party Force from Oakland, California who were friendly fellas and we sampled the local schnapps at the bar. Not a bad time in Badish Deutschland.
10.09.15 GER-Tübingen, Hegelstraße 7
Ah Tubingen, an interesting night. We made friends with some Calgarians called Teledrome who were also playing.
They were an electro pop new wave kinda band which was really refreshing in the land of bad 90s punk. We danced pretty hard for them and they in turn danced pretty hard for us.
It was Chris’ friend Brandon Madrid’s birthday and we dedicated our wild breakdown to him:
Afterwards there was a baby crawling on the floor of a punk squat, some bad pink speed going around, drummer of Teledrome talking like Jeff Spicolli and more
11.09.15 SUI-Luzern, Sedel
It was a beautiful drive to Luzern, Switzerland even though Andru Bourbon called it “Country Of Freaks” and “City of Freaks.” Our other Andrew, Captain Zappin, Minister of War, had to piss pretty bad as we were stuck in traffic in the middle of Zurich City Center. He finally pissed in a bottle. The first bottle piss of tour.
We were playing this venue next to these cow pastures, right on the foot of the Alps. You could hear the cow bells jangling around the cows’ necks as we loaded in. The backstage spread was excellent, unparalleled. Literally the best tasting cheese you could imagine. The beer was great too. Beer made with glacial water from the Alps? Fantastic. They had 3 cooks backstage cooking us a beautiful homecooked meal. The Swiss treated us pretty well and it won’t be forgotten.
12.09.15 FRA-Montpellier, Subsonic Open Air
Again some genius booking on our agent’s part, we had to wake up at 5am to make it to 5pm loadin in Montpellier. We hauled ass with Chris behind the wheel and he didn’t accept my offer of Swiss Cheese. See him star in an Andrew Zappin film here (Music by La Femme)
After paying hundreds of Euros in tolls to the French, we made it to Montpellier. It was raining so they moved the Open Air Festival indoors.
We met the guys from Le Grys Grys and their girlfriends, all nice people
Some of our friends from Valencia were there and reminded us of Paella and Wau Y Los Arrghs!
Sylvie and her husband have been doing Subsonic for many years now. They put together a great little shindig and everybody had a great time. It was raining but Sulli, Bourbon and I along with the Valencians got an espresso and a pastis before playing. Perfect. That is some wake up juice. It was Sulli’s birthday at midnight and folks sang “Happy Birthday” in English, French and Spanish. Good stuff. We stayed up very late with Isidro from Valencia and the Grys Grys guys. It was fun. Ardy our roadie, photographer,raconteur, international man of mystery, got into town and showed up at 6:30am. The sleeping place was closed and he slept on the sidewalk. Welcome to tour Ardy. Next stop, carajillo country.
Maniac in Montpellier @ Subsonic Festival. Photo by Sue Rynski
13.09.15 ESP-Barcelona, Freedonia
Crossing the border into Spain is a beautiful thing. CATALUNYA rather. The beer is colder, the food tastes better, the people friendlier, the sun sunnier. God damn we started having fun. Barcelona was a small little venue with a cocktail bar in the front. It was in Raval which is an immigrant neighborhood and can be one of the seediest ‘hoods in Barcelona, especially on weekend nights. We were there on a weekday and it was relatively peaceful excepting someone trying to steal a diner’s jacket while eating in broad daylight on the terrace of an Indian restaurant. After the show we went to a gay bar and had a fantastic time. The Gin and Tonics were huge, cold, cheap and delicious. Some of our party disappeared to do speed until 9 in the morning. The rest of our party slept.
14.09.15 ESP-Terrassa, Skorpions Bar
Photo by Ardavon Fatehi
Had a nice walkabout all around Barcelona in the daytime, mostly the tourist stuff but it was a beautiful day. This gent played some accordion for us.
Photo by Ardavon Fatehi
The markets had some of the finest jamon as sampled by Captain Zappin and yours truly. Ardy found this great graffiti in Terassa
La Policia Esnifa Cocaina. Our very own man about town Ardavon Fatehi. Photo by Andrew Zappin
Terassa is on the outskirts of Barcelona and this beautiful man put on our show. For a Monday night it was a fantastic turnout. It seemed like the whole village showed up. On the way back to Ori’s apartment he kept telling us he had this huge pitbull and that we had to be careful. He actually had some of us spooked. When we got to his house we met the “pitbull” this shy little guy:
15.09.15 ESP-Bilbao, Satélite T
Next stop was the Basque Country. Bilbao, home of Eskorbuto.
Unfortunately we weren’t playing in Donosti/San Sebastian, home of fine fine pintxos and a beautiful beach, but a beautiful time was had in Bilbao. They made us a fine dinner with wine.
Basque hospitality in Bilbao
Justin and Sulli cleaning up in Bilbao. Ardy in background wearing a sweet beret
16.09.15 ESP-Oviedo, Lata de Zinc
Next we were off to Asturias, home of Asturian leche and cidra.
Red Dons struck back by burning a fabricated Suspect Parts Setlist:
We stopped at the beach on the way where this epic Down With Dons video was shot
There was an insane staircase to load all of the gear into the basement where the stage was. They cooked us very good vegetarian food at the venue. Afterwards was a nutso local Catholic festival which in Spain means a lot of drinking and bars staying open as late as possible, some in this case 4am or 6am. We drank some local cider and went to a lot of bars. Cobblestone streets, people wandering around. A very social occasion, the festival of San Mateo. La Resaca was muy fuerte.
17.09.15 ESP-Alcala de Henares, Ego Live
Alcala de Henares is on the outskirts of Madrid. It is known as the birthplace of Cervantes, author of Don Quixote. It was a quiet night but Spain beat France in the Euro basketball championships so people were happy. Sulli and I had an excellent carajillo next door. The promoter was a gentleman who paid us our guarantee even though he lost money on the show. Hotel was across the street and very comfortable.
18.09.15 ESP-Sevilla, Sala X
Sevilla was an amazing city, way down in Andalucía. It was impossible to park the van anywhere because the parking garages wouldn’t fit our German van. Narrow cobblestone streets, old people and children in public squares, bars and cafes everywhere. Beautiful city. No one at the show but we got our crazy guarantee of 500 Euros. The promoters of our show actually lived in Grenada but did no promotion in Sevilla. Very strange scenario. But our friends at Holy Cuervo in Madrid were taking care of everything so we got a hotel and the guarantee. Worth the trip to Sevilla just for the food and the sights and the smells. Wonderful to be in Andalucía.
Roadside bar in rural Spain (photo by Andrew Zappin)
19.09.15 ESP-Madrid, Wurlitzer Ballroom
Madrid, mi ciudad natal. Wonderful to see Gran Via again. Malasana. El Wurley. El Omni bar. Nacho took good care of us but again a parking nightmare. Chris had to head back to our hotel and put a chair in the road to save a parking space for our van. He sat in the chair and drank a bottle of wine and waited for the van and gear to return. Sulli , Chris and I were booked to do a DJ set at Weirdo Bar but Chris wasn’t able to make it . Andru had to drive the van so he couldn’t make it either. Ardy AKA DJ Madrid filled in as DJ while I loaded the gear in the van. DJ James Carman also jammed some hits. Captain Zappin and I stayed behind because he had to film a very special message for Red Dons. The Captain finally declared a temporary armistice. Peace between Suspects Maniac and Red Dons had finally been declared.
———————————————————-
MANIAC went back to Los Angeles from Madrid and Suspect Parts continued the righteous quest back to Berlin. I will keep these last few brief.
*SUSPECT PARTS ONLY* 20.09.15 ESP- Valencia, Magazine Club
One word. Paella. They made us one. With conejo and costillas. Chris and Sulli are vegetarian but they pushed the meat aside to eat the rice. That should tell you how good it was.
21.09.15 ESP- Sant Feliu, Atzavara Club
Back up to Catalunya it was a beautiful drive along the Mediterranean coast. We went to the beach twice.
First on our own
Suspects on the beach. Costa Brava, Catalunya
Then since an armistice was officially declared we met up with Red Dons on the beach in neutral turf, Catalunya.
Suspects and Red Dons meet on the beach in Catalunya. Peace is declared!
They treated us very well at Atzavara Club. Red wine, bbq and a great community organized volunteer-run club. It was Chris’ birthday and everyone sang him happy birthday in Catalan. Good stuff! He drank red wine and was a happy boy.
23.09.15 GER- Munich, Kiste
A long drive to Munich from Catalunya. We crossed France, Switzerland and Bavaria and finally made it to Munich at about 7am. We stayed with Chris and his wife Laura. Great bakeries in Munich. We visited Michl Krenner’s new record shop, Black Wave Records and made the necessary trip to the Augustiner Brauhaus. The show was in this weird techno bar, but went well and had a great time DJing with Michl afterwards. Viva Bayern!
Sophia, Michl, Herbie, Sulli, Justin in Munich
24.09.15 GER- Berlin, Cortina Bob
Last Falafel, last Pfeffi, Last Jager, Last Espresso Machiatto, last Mexicaner. Thank you to our family in Berlin. You made it feel like home. Hell, it is home! We love you, XO Suspect Parts
Chris, drummer of Suspect Parts, kept a pretty detailed record of the most hilarious quotes on tour said in the van or out of the van. When he was driving, I kept track.
Sulli’s van rendition of Suspect/Maniac members (James Sullivan) L to R – Chris, Zappin, Justin, Andru, James, Zache, Sulli
The personality of the person saying the quote is key, I will introduce them with hometown and instrument:
SUSPECT PARTS ROSTER:
Justin Maurer (vocals, guitar, current city: Los Angeles)
James “Sulli” Sullivan (vocals, guitar current city: Manchester, UK)
Chris Bell Brief (vocals, drums current city, Munich, Germany)
Andru Bourbon (Bass, current city, Berlin, Germany)
MANIAC ROSTER:
Zache Davis (vocals, bass, current city: Los Angeles)
Andrew Zappin (lead guitar, current city: Los Angeles)
James Carman (drums, vocals, hometown: Carson, California)
Justin Maurer (guitar, vocals, current city: LA)
Van Life L to R Ardy, Zappin, Justin
Here are some of my favorites:
“You are really obsessed with your underwear” (Andru Bourbon to Chris Brief on his underwear air drying in the van after being hand washed)
“Give me a little bite of your sausage, James” (Justin to James on sharing his Spanish Sausage)
The crew in an official Down With Dons party meeting lead by our Minister of War. L to R – Zappin, Sulli, Zache, Andru
“I had a dream I was wearing shorts. When I woke up I had pants on and I was happy.” (Andrew Zappin on his van dream)
“Stupid Dream” (Andru Bourbon in response to Zappin’s dream)
“I like all food that comes out of a tube…really!” (Andru Bourbon on his vegan culinary preferences)
“I like to taste my olive,” (Chris Brief on Spanish olive tapas)
“Where do we keep getting all of these random fucking CDs from?” (Chris Brief)
“The dwarf gave them to me,” (Sulli clarifying the origin of the dozens of random CDs sliding around the van floor)
“2 dwarves in 1 place, that’s like lightning striking twice in the same place,” (Zappin on 2 dwarf attendees of a show, one of whom gifted us dozens of random punk CDs)
“No, there are plenty of dwarves all over Europe,” (Andru Bourbon)
The crew in Trier, Germany (Photo by Justin Maurer) L to R James, Zache, Sulli, Zappin, Chris, Andru
“I haven’t touched my dong this entire trip” (Zappin, on masturbation)
“So what you’re saying is that you’d consider having an open relationship with Jane Fonda” (Justin to Sulli on Barbarella-era Jane Fonda)
Roadside bar in rural Spain (photo by Andrew Zappin)
“I shot my friend with a BB Gun once” (Chris Brief)
“Watch out for scorpions, don’t touch black widows…there were some serious wasps” (Chris Brief on growing up in New Mexico)
“I think the most dangerous thing where I grew up was feral dogs with rabies…or wild pigs” (Andru Bourbon on growing up in East Germany)
“When I was growing up we had a family of skunks living underneath the house” (Chris Brief on coming of age in New Mexico)
Zache Davis in conversation with Ardavon Fatehi, Maniac roadie and filmmaker:
Zache – Why, you have a girl there?
Ardy: I have girls everywhere
Zache: I used to be like you
Ardy: I’m nothing like you
“If I have any Hopi in me, it’s because someone in my family raped a Hopi Indian” (Chris Brief on his family’s claim that they have Hopi Indian blood in the family)
“I would slit all of your throats to wash her underwear” (Andrew Zappin, on an attractive female pedestrian in Sevilla, Spain)
“I don’t know who I am anymore…no, I do, I’m the Minister of War” (Andrew Zappin)
“I won’t be crying tonight but next week I might drop a tear…secretly” (Andru Bourbon, discussing emotion in an atypically German way, on the departure of Maniac in Madrid)
Soundtrack to the tour was dominated by two standouts. First off, the German 80s New Wave bandTRIO (They are known primarily for their hit “Da Da Da” but the rest of their early catalog is criminally underrated.) Our favorites included “Sunday Need Love, Monday Be Alone,” “Drei Mann Im Doppel Bed,” “Anna,” “Hearts Are Trump,” and more.
The 2nd Van Hit was a new French New Wave band called LA FEMME . What excellent driving music.
“Justin Maurer’s stories are filled with humor, horror and human insight. A strong new voice.”
– Dan Fante
“Clean and pure sentences written by an unclean and impure man. You can laugh and feel joy reading these stories. Go ahead. It’s okay.”
– Scott McClanahan
“Justin Maurer’s Seventeen Television is filled with profound and high-octane moments written with a heart-on-his-sleeve sincerity.”
– Chloe Caldwell
“Maurer sculpts very rich characters and depicts absurd situations in hysterical terms. An extremely clever and sincere writer.”
– MaximumRocknRoll
“Justin Maurer has a real gift for storytelling…an expertly conversational feel.”
– The Portland Mercury
“Stuff like Justin’s turning up once every few blue moons is like a little reassuring pat on the back that says there are actually people out there who can still write great short fiction.”
– Vice UK
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